Blown up like a raft? Impossible!

Being recovered is a beautiful thing. That being said, I still find myself in a few eating disordered dilemmas. The one I'm thinking of specifically is those full vs. fat feelings and how to deal with them. While I definitely battle this issue still today, I am finally beginning to master the belief that full can never equal fat.

On any given day, I eat several "mini meals". I do this not only because everyone and their doctors say it is the healthy thing to do, but also because I find that it allows me to avoid that overly full feeling that I so often translate into meaning I am fat (a word I absolutely hate using, which I will from here on out refer to as "the f-word"). Anyway, eating these mini meals has permitted me to never feel too hungry, a feeling that absolutely invades me and makes it near impossible for me to function during just about any task, and to never feel too full. I have always hated the fact that full so often translates to the f-word for me.

Recently, as a recovered woman/hardcore survivor extraordinaire, I have made the discovery that the issue of full vs. the f-word is not an issue unique to those with eating disorders! What a revelation! Here I am, recovered, thinking, "What is wrong with me? Why do I still feel this way?", when BAM, it occurs to me that this is a feeling many, if not most women deal with everyday! Okay so, I am not alone, and neither are any of you!

It is not only the culture of the eating disordered that deals with these strange beliefs, but the culture of all American women. Living with the totally rad American Media has turned us all into self-doubters! It's rather depressing, if you ask me, that we beautiful, strong, well-represented American women feel it necessary to eat only a yogurt before going out for the night because eating dinner simply must mean that we will not fit into our cute little party dresses!

Well I am through with this whole full vs. the f-word bull. It is ridiculous to assume that any meal would cause myself (or any of you) to experience a significant/noticeable weight gain.

I am officially putting my size 8 feet DOWN.

Here it is, my vow: I vow to always eat when I am hungry and until I am full. I vow to put on my hottest party dress and totally rock it whenever I desire because no amount of food will make me any less sexy.

Your turn! Challenge that full vs. the f-word feelings! Think of an activity that you dread feeling so "the f-word" for and tell yourself now that you will, from here on out, feel AMAZING no matter what every time you do whatever it is you do.

I believe in you! We can all beat this!